The Last Drop of True Blood…for a Few Months

Watching this season’s True Blood was a vastly different experience than the previous two because now I had read the books.  I found myself incessantly comparing the two; I’m sure if I said “That’s not how it was in the books” one more time, Alex was going to walk out of the room.  I kinda wished I hadn’t read the books because I think I would have then appreciated the television show on its own terms.  Instead perhaps I should have read the books after the series was over.  However, I obviously still enjoyed this season and kept coming back Sunday after Sunday.  And for the last time for a few months, here’s the highlights from the season finale:

• The “Countdown to True Blood,” had been hyped and of course we watched, but it was mostly a glorified advertisement for all of the upcoming HBO shows. 
• So we’ve all decided that Godric is pulling an Obi Wan because when he met the sun, he didn’t fry like bacon.  Instead, he shot off like a blue star.  (Obi Wan didn’t get cut in half by Vader’s sword; he just vanished into thin air.) Now he’s reappearing to Eric as a ghost-like apparition in a blue haze, spewing wisdom that sounds an awful lot like “Trust your feelings.”
• Obi Wan’s appearance was followed by Sookie running in a faerie dream where she saw a light that looked an awful lot like E.T.’s UFO.  Did Alan Ball’s writing staff have classic movie night right before writing this episode?
• Sookie to Russell:  “You watch your fucking language.”
• Mmmm…I’m going to miss hearing “Bad Things” these coming months.  Just hearing it makes me excited.
• So Sam tells Tara (while she’s, of course, bemoaning the fact that “everything always happens to ME”) that she can just start all over, get a new life.  Seems like pretty good advice and I’m glad that it looks like she takes it.  She cuts her hair, says good-bye to her Mama and Sookie and looks like she’s driving away at the end.  If she comes back, she better have become a version of Tara that can keep it together for more than one episode.
• So when the chargrilled version of Russell comes back in from frying in the sun, he’s trying to make deals with anyone who will listen.  Eric punches him and he literally puffs out smoke.  Excellent makeup on the burnt skin, btw.
• Andy: “You just rationalized away the need for all law enforcement.”  Jason: “I don’t know what that means exactly but you gotta stop those government people out there.”
• Hoyt’s mama and Summer stage an intervention with Hoyt with the help of the high school counselor.  The sad thing is that in a rural area like that, a high school counselor is probably the closest to a therapist they have.  It’s a shining moment for Hoyt, though; he stands up to his mother and speaks his mind.  He even takes a moment to wish Summer well.  Not a thing to dislike about Hoyt.
• Sookie to Russell: “Your word is about a good as tits on a turtle.”
• When Sookie pours Talbot’s remains down the garbage disposal, her maniacal laugh makes me worry about her sanity.  She’s about one step from getting an evil cat to stroke.
• Ok, Book v. TV moment: I really liked Calvin Norris in the books so I didn’t like that they made him into a meth dealer in the TV show.  Yeah, there’s a lot of inbreeding even in the book, but he’s still a good guy.  Well, imagine my shock when Felton shoots him, point blank, in the head.  BIG difference from the book, as Calvin played a part in all the books after his introduction.
• Terry’s armadillo, Felix, is doing well, in case you were wondering.
• Interesting plot twist as Crystal leaves Jason in charge of the Hot Shot people.  With this responsibility apparently comes wisdom as Jason soundly tells Andy that sometimes doing the right thing is the wrong thing.
• Tara’s mother’s idea of change, of happiness is being a minister’s wife…after the minister leaves his wife and children.  And we’ll just pretend that his congregation won’t have an issue with his affair.
• Apparently Tommy couldn’t get the safe open, so he just dragged it out of the office.
• Why is everyone wearing plaid?  (Sam, Tara, Alcide, Tommy) Does the wardrobe department at HBO think plaid/flannel = Southern fashion?  (This happens every show, but I’ve had enough.  I do not own a single plaid shirt.)
• Ginger screams, again.  She’s now 6 for 6.
• Yay Alcide!  I think he was under utilized this season.  And with all of the hype before the season started, I had expected him to be used much more.
• While Alcide and Sookie flirt, chargrilled Russell rolls his eyes listening to them prattle about their feelings.  Russell has really been so much fun this season.
• As Alcide and Bill stare one another down, both potential suitors for Sookie’s affection, Eric says: “Well, if you two are finished eye fucking each another, can we go?”
• Jason trying to state his license plate number using cop alphabet: “Larry, Charlie…Willie”
• I love when people on TV cut their own hair.  Apparently everyone else is a professional hair stylist.  If I cut my own hair, it would look…like I cut my own hair.
• So I really like what Eric came up with to punish Russell.  Pretty smart.  But I’m confused why they keep saying he’ll be trapped for 100 years.  What happens in 100 years?  Will they come back to let him out?
• Bill: “A hundred years in which you will go mad.  Madder than even you are now.  And you are as mad as a fucking hatter.”  Worst. Dialogue. Ever. Really, Bill?  That’s all you could come up with?  Honestly, this whole Bill-Eric “evil-guy-final-speech” is a little tiresome and contrived.
• I don’t think I really understand how silver works on vampires.  Why does putting a silver cuff on Eric make him not able to get out of the hole?  And while Bill betrays Sookie in the book, trying to also kill Eric and Pam is pretty cold blooded.
• Yay Hoyt!  He rented a place for him and Jessica and wants to marry her.  But any fool can tell you that when Jessica says, “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you” and Hoyt responds,”Well, lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out, ” that’s just asking for things to go wrong.  We both said “Dun Dun DUNNN.”  And what was with the weird baby doll in the kitchen; are we going to have weird possessed baby dolls running around, a la Chucky? 
• When vampires are banished from a house, and they blow away in some supernatural wind, it’s just funny.  And when Bill cries, he looks like a sad clown.
• So I’m guessing that Sam did shoot Tommy, but ” ’tis just a flesh wound.”  We’ve seen that he’s capable of killing, but I think all the news sources have said that Tommy is coming back next season.
• I do love the Queen of Louisiana’s wardrobe.  I very much want that dress she wore.  Do you think I could find someone to make it for me?
• UGH!  Something in me said, “Bill and Sophie Ann are going to fight all Matrix-style.”  It was like a premonition.  And sure enough, there they were, flying across the room at one another.  I think I could see the suspension wires.
• Yay Claudine!  I guess we’ll start next season in Faerie Land.

After the show, Alan Ball thanked the fans and talked a little bit about next season, which will be full of witches and “other supernatural creatures” (and, I hope, an amnesiatic Eric).  He promises more of what we love…which better be sex because this season actually lacked it.

So how did I feel about this season’s True Blood?  I’ll give it a solid B.  It was definitely uneven.  Juggling so many plot lines meant some episodes were about action and others were just spinning wheels.  Like a soap opera, it felt like it took forever for anything to happen because to keep all the balls in the air, each plot line had to be given a little screen time each episode.  I’ll bet even Sookie only got about 20 minutes of screen time this episode, which was pretty average for the season.

The Season Finale.  What am I going to do until next spring?  I had the Sookie books to get me through the off-season last year but I won’t have a  crutch this year.  But thanks for indulging me in these little reviews each week.  I was only 2 classes away from a film minor in college and I guess I’ve always kinda thought it would be fun to be a film critic.  This way I got to play pretend for a little while.