October 30, 2009
I need to say this before anything else: I’m NOT pregnant.
Ok.
My brother and I both are working on this list, although I take it a little more seriously than he does (re: OBSESSED). He has several things checked off of his list that I don’t have and as of last week, he also has this Thing to Do completed before me with the birth of his little girl, Zoe Alexis. He’s as nonchalant about it as any body could ever be, which is just my little brother’s style.
I don’t usually think new babies are cute, but (being completely biased) she doesn’t look as squished as other babies I’ve seen.
I know 10 (TEN) babies being born between June of this year and January 2010. Eight of them are girls (in the future, women rule the world). So needless to say, I’ve been surrounded by baby-mania. Despite all the baby craziness, I don’t have much baby fever myself. I don’t usually feel the need to hold babies (they usually just make me nervous and I’m worried that they are going to start crying and I think they sense that I’m worried that they are going to cry and then they…cry) and I definitely don’t coo or make much fuss. I went to see Zoe two hours after she had been born and then saw her again this past Sunday, but I haven’t held her yet-just kind of stared at her.
Babies seem to be an awful lot of work and I keep going back and forth on the desire to know what its like to be a mother, to go through the experience and to have that kind of relationship and having my independence and being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. It seems that babies put a crimp on your social schedule. Difficult to travel the world and go bungee jumping if you know you have a little one counting on you to come back home.
Supposedly the plan is that Alex and I will have a boy and then we’ll adopt a girl, because I’ve always wanted to adopt. But like I tell the grandparents-to-be, don’t expect anything for 2 or 3 more years (because at the ancient age of 33, I become an “at-risk” mother).
Lots of people have done this but its still quite an accomplishment. Anyone have any good advice on how to become a parent and still stay true to yourself/not lose your identity as a person?
That’s a lot of babies. And as far as newborns go your niece is pretty darn cute. Congrats Aunt!
And PS – I’m always somewhat worried I’m going to drop babies or irreparably damage them. I’m much better when they walk and then we’re bff’s well at least until they start talking back.
When Alex plays with his niece and throws her up in the air, I can’t look because I’m deathly afraid he’s going to miss her one time. And when they start walking (especially when they first start) then I’m really nervous and can’t relax b/c I’m constantly afraid they’re getting ready to fall and bump their head or they are going to pull something down on top of them. How do you ever relax once you are a parent? Only when they sleep?
I’ve got to admit – I was reading your post on writing a novel when I caught a glimpse of the post below it and thought, “Jessica’s pregnant?” I’m glad you clarified your status in the first sentence or I would’ve been anxiously skimming the blog to find out what was going on.
I also struggle with the decision to give birth. I’m thankful that we adopted, but despite our plan to stay true to ourselves, my husband and I now spend most of our time shuttling our daughter to and from school, cheerleading, doctors, etc. 85% of our conversations revolve around our daughter’s care, 14% is about work, and 1% is about how we’re too tired to talk about anything else (if ya know what I mean). I’m sure we’ll get to relax more as we become more proficient at parenting. At least she’s old enough to tag along on many of our 101 Things.
Gina, I think either way, you change when you have kids, that’s inevitable. And yeah, probably in the beginning, your world probably does revolve around the kid, but I’ve DO have a few friends that have kids, but still act the same as they did before they had kids. They can’t go out at a moment’s notice and they do talk about their kids every now and then, but it doesn’t consume them and it didn’t change their core being-they just slightly redefined themselves and made necessary adjustments. So it can be done, but I think you really have to make that conscious decision. Therefore, I agree with you, once you get the “hang” of things, you’ll probably find a happy medium with your new role and your “old self.”
hello:
Jessica permalink*
November 2, 2009 11:38 pm
When Alex plays with his niece and throws her up in the air, I can’t look because I’m deathly afraid he’s going to miss her one time. And when they start walking (especially when they first start) then I’m really nervous and can’t relax b/c I’m constantly afraid they’re getting ready to fall and bump their head or they are going to pull something down on top of them. How do you ever relax once you are a parent? Only when they sleep?
hate to disappoint you, but Ive never been able to relax while watching my godchilren and when theyre sleeping. lately in NZ ive noticed on the news a lot of babies are having shaken baby syndrome (i think its called that) where they suffocate and die in their sleep. but I think thats the whole beginning of parenting, can never relax. as muvh as it is amazing, its stressful too.